I'm resolved to feel quite pessimistic. For a little while longer. We picked up 348 euros from Western Union, and are now resolved to just do homecooked meals, except for once a week. Probably fridays in that case. I'm guessing we're having tortilla de patatas tomorrow. I have a monstrous headache. And tomorrow is later today, so that's what I meant. Screw that I'm tired and not talking to Irina.
Might as well sleep until I have my computer back. Yeah, cry myself ot sleep over that one. Just like all the others. What's so different about her? Why should I have faith that she'll continue loving me? Why when the others who I thought I had a chance with ended up blowing me off? Fuck... headache.
Another lonely night... trying to change the world but all anyone can do is nitpick. They'll never change. but I keep on doing this because I dare to believe in them.
and why the fuck not?
I need to make sure I know what to say to chago. how much do I need? -what will I do to pay him back? what can I possibly do? what am I doing with this money? how long until I can pay him back? 1400 euros for the course, 70 hours at 20 euros an hour, almost 90 hours at 15 euros, but I will pay him back once I get there!
25 January 2007
20 January 2007
19 October 2006
we are just a tad desperate for money now. as in, we won't have a place to stay for a month if things don't work out. that is, we need money for an apartment after the 22nd.
we need to get into a better state. mum needs to get her ass out the door and walk more. that way, we can lose weight, stay healthy, and eat less. also the smoking clearly has to stop completely. and drinking. We just have to feel good about what we're doing, saving money, etc...
Cereal in the evening, sleep during the day, another particularly depressing day. I'm going to sleep some more and mum will be awake. Means I'll be up late tonight.
I love Irina.
Listening to Paper Tiger as I dream of lulling myself to sleep. Talked to Steph earlier. Mum is feeling better about the issue of the school. Will feel better once it's over and done with.
I'm also growing to appreciate Death Cab for Cutie. I desperately want to make Irina happy. I keep fucking up. At least that's how I see it.
God I love her.
I should read.
we need to get into a better state. mum needs to get her ass out the door and walk more. that way, we can lose weight, stay healthy, and eat less. also the smoking clearly has to stop completely. and drinking. We just have to feel good about what we're doing, saving money, etc...
Cereal in the evening, sleep during the day, another particularly depressing day. I'm going to sleep some more and mum will be awake. Means I'll be up late tonight.
I love Irina.
Listening to Paper Tiger as I dream of lulling myself to sleep. Talked to Steph earlier. Mum is feeling better about the issue of the school. Will feel better once it's over and done with.
I'm also growing to appreciate Death Cab for Cutie. I desperately want to make Irina happy. I keep fucking up. At least that's how I see it.
God I love her.
I should read.
17 January 2007
18 October 2006
I'm a world apart from what was once called important by me. Which means on the whole it is more difficult to get things done immediately. Mom is confused by waht dad is saying. There's no money, not enough for the course supposedly.
I'm accepted into the TESOL program though. Which is exciting. I don't know what to expect.
And I'm still recovering from a spliff I had earlier. Fun times.
9 PM Did I have two dinners? I know I'm tired as fuck. Mom is fucking demanding on my part. I finally killed off Transdimensional. Donno how I'm going about bringing him back.
Maybe just admit I needed a little break from Atease. No fanfare at all. Name change. Most spectacular of all would be if he were COMPLETELY unrecognizable.
So I've been accepted into SpainTesol. And the thunder is crazy here. The area lit up for 5 seconds and there was an earth shatteringtho thunder crack.
Well at least the school thing was resolved. But now mum is worried about the money. I can't handle the pressure.
I'm accepted into the TESOL program though. Which is exciting. I don't know what to expect.
And I'm still recovering from a spliff I had earlier. Fun times.
9 PM Did I have two dinners? I know I'm tired as fuck. Mom is fucking demanding on my part. I finally killed off Transdimensional. Donno how I'm going about bringing him back.
Maybe just admit I needed a little break from Atease. No fanfare at all. Name change. Most spectacular of all would be if he were COMPLETELY unrecognizable.
So I've been accepted into SpainTesol. And the thunder is crazy here. The area lit up for 5 seconds and there was an earth shattering
Well at least the school thing was resolved. But now mum is worried about the money. I can't handle the pressure.
17 October 2006
tigmoni broke up with JJC. er, vice versa actually. they're seperated. kind of freaky. I always assumed that they were good to go. it deeply disturbed me. but I think tigmoni is better now.
although it made me scared for me and irina. who's to say ours would last? I wouldn't leave her but would she leave me? not much else to say about yesterday.
there's a part of me that needs to settle affairs in the old world. I need to record with Bebo, need to see david at least, and the OC ateasers..
there's a bigger part of me that wants to be with irina. irina. if I went to the OC, would she be in toronto?
I suppose this is speculating beyond the summer though, depending on what mom is doing, irina is doing. I am in a state of limbo otherwise.
part of me wants to stay in europe but that part is inconsequential. I know my life revolves around people and is determined based on whatever happens.
the main part of me just wants Irina. I would follow her. to the edge of the earth.
and fall off.
things are looking good for tigmoni. i guess JJC saw how much she loved him and realized what was happening. they're on good terms. the future might have them together. love will shine through.
i am so proud of laura. she is an amazing human being and her doing well bodes well for the rest of us.
Ah shit. So Tigs aint going back to JJC in any amount of time. Well it's good to know.
Apparently Blair's government wants university students to spy on Muslim students.
although it made me scared for me and irina. who's to say ours would last? I wouldn't leave her but would she leave me? not much else to say about yesterday.
there's a part of me that needs to settle affairs in the old world. I need to record with Bebo, need to see david at least, and the OC ateasers..
there's a bigger part of me that wants to be with irina. irina. if I went to the OC, would she be in toronto?
I suppose this is speculating beyond the summer though, depending on what mom is doing, irina is doing. I am in a state of limbo otherwise.
part of me wants to stay in europe but that part is inconsequential. I know my life revolves around people and is determined based on whatever happens.
the main part of me just wants Irina. I would follow her. to the edge of the earth.
and fall off.
things are looking good for tigmoni. i guess JJC saw how much she loved him and realized what was happening. they're on good terms. the future might have them together. love will shine through.
i am so proud of laura. she is an amazing human being and her doing well bodes well for the rest of us.
Ah shit. So Tigs aint going back to JJC in any amount of time. Well it's good to know.
Apparently Blair's government wants university students to spy on Muslim students.
16 October 2006
- paella
- hair color
celery- wipes
- all purpose cleaner
- depilatorio
- bok choy
- paper towels
- cereal
- rice milk
- tinto crianza
- baby corn
- harissa
16 January 2007
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