the days really seem to pass fast. not that I want them to, but its how it goes. mum made a salad for dinner and I talked a little with Lyd, Hildurutvarpshaus, and Posthuman, not to mention defending Wierd Fishee (mum) on the message board. It seems as if some people there post just to start a problem with us and without the least bit idea of what idiocy that they've just expressed. I suppose it's true that Aspies are more difficult to deal with (or whatever I am, manic, etc...) but it really does seem like it's just the assholes. Not to mention that people are so into the idea that every song about love or something is just a political metaphor. Idiots. I want to start writing about wanting to learn, knowing how to learn and having the time to learn. Personally I'm not in the perfect situation or moo to think about it. Mostly I just want to write about what I think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Howard Hughes hehe.
Don't bury your thoughts, let them come through, to the surface. Fly with them.
New age bullshit. Although it good to think of this. How have I set the tone? This whole diary thing is such bullshit. I'm just wrapped up in writing now, for the first time in ages, I feellike I can write even though nothing of significance is happening.
Insight into my mind.
That's what I have now. I can see clearly. Everything that has been said to me, about me, it's all in some past that only I can bring back. The past is past. No one wants to bring it up. Full of bad memories. I am here and now and that's more than I can say of most people. I am here because of the past but I don't have to drag it along with me ever again. No one knows me here I could very well act out as someone who I've always wanted to be, and I would pass. I am an actor. I know the craft, I am the method. Also it is something I have above other people. Make way for it is not JP Pulles, autistic, but Jean-Philippe Pulles, articulate and charming American in Barcelona (with a penchant for British accents).
21 pages in, and they have installed particles in this bed. CRUD!
So I'm in a particularly Muse state of mind. Maybe it's in anticipation of yet another Muse concert I'll miss. Hmm.
I really want to fit into this indie scene kid craze that virtually every I want to fuck is part of. I want to check out the girls at the clubs. Dos Trece has a downstairs club. Which might suit my needs presently.
Yet I don't speak the language. A smack head moment. I wouldn't want someone who wasn't bilingual would I? It'd just be about the sex then?
Hmm.
I really miss the guitar lately. Tis a shame I can't create when the actual inspiration is now coming to me. Hm. Well I can concentrate on longer writing anyway so this is a change. Should I start in the other diary though? I mean this one is virtually filled up with writing anyway. Hmm I keep noticing how dirty my shoe is. How strange. What a "Strangle the Chickens" moment. Heh. I'd better stop picking at this thing on my face. Shame-ridden.
Ugh.
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