from november 2005

11-4-05

i only dream at night
my ambitions unrealized
whispers in my head
the tide washing over me

i'm scratching at my head
my loves learn to live without

***

"if your eyes could tellme everything they needed to say--"
"don't believe in those lies, young boy! it could never be."
"if i could support you, give you the life you deserve--"
"you could never! not with your rock star ambitions and your high school diploma."
"i love you!"
"stop before you hurt yourself even more."

***

F#min A G Gmin F#min
If I could stop, I would stop before
I hurt myself even more

Em G F#m F/Em D F#m F
If I could go back on this love
do you really think I would

***

revenge of the soul food

if i could stop
i would stop before I'd hurt myself even more
is it even possible
to imagine getting myself away from you

if i could go back on this love
do you really think i would

oooooh

does it really work like that
i can't imagine so
could you possibly change your mind
i can't possibly know

don't make me change my ways
i don't work like that

why should i change for you
you never would
why should i die for you
you never would

verse: F#min | A Asus4 A | G Gm Gsus2|
chorus: Em G F#m F
bridge: A C# E D

***

"the diamond dogs are vultures and they hide behind trees"

the cruel cat she manipulates

fat cat

the fat
cat is
a bitch
she wants
you to suck
her clit
she'll make
you suck her dry
cos she's a
bitch

***

A Am G Gm
I only dream at night
F#m F Em
You're still there
A C#m C Cm
You pollute my waking mind
Gm F# F#m F
Stop before you hurt somebody

I only dream at night
You pollute my waking mind
I'm falling fast, falling behind

And I can't believe this life
You have cut past my barriers
And I love how you've come in

I can't believe my eyes
Don't believe this is a lie
I love you and I won't disguise it

***

Played for a fool

A Amaj7 C#m G#
I wasted so much life with you
I fell in love with you
And you played me for a fool

A Amaj7 E Bm
I wanted you forevermore and I would give
Anything I'd give up everything
For you to look at me like that again

C Bm A Amaj7
And I was a fool for you
Yes I was, ooh
And when my chance to leave came, I paused

A Amaj7 C#m G#
I wasted so much life with you
I fell in love with you
And I was played for a fool, for a fool

Bm D A Amaj7
And now I'll pursue the one that could love me back
Why did I believe this chance expendable
You could have had everything

***

I want so much for it to end. I want to scream at this hurtful, spoiled girl, tell her what I truly think instead of hiding behind my bored or sad or resentful or sulky faces. It's not fair to continue this way, to let Sheena continue to let the damned girl hang out with us now that we know what she is. She says that I'm the coolest guy she knows, but I know it's just thoughtless flattery. She puts me down so much and I'm supposed to believe her shit?! I'm not. I want to be as cold as possible, but not to Sheena, not to those I would consider friends, but instead of fighting this pervert, I have to see her ugly face, having stared ugliness in the eyes as I unwillingly sucked her tits.

***

regressive

i only dream at night
i don't think of what might've been
disillusionment sets in
impossible to think what lie's beyond now

closed minded to the future
all possibility goes down the drain
watery eyes and tissues to cover up the blemishes
we're not going anywhere from here

make war, it's the only way we can see
choose injustice because they didn't know better
no progress or invention
a grudge against the world they left for us

it all goes downhill from here
we could stop it but we just hate the past more
what did we have before?
was it always this bad?

we didn't know what we had
hidden underneat the sludge of centuries of neglect
a plasma formation overtaking us
from our last year of progress

***

destruction, that's what they wanted.
pure + simple tear down of everything
that made the world work.

***

F#m F# E G#m

disengage
i want
Out of here
searching
the earth is scorching
________________
the rubber of your shoes
melts
with every step
________________
C#m G#m G F#m
disengage
your heart
the pain
is not worth the love
__________________
F#m F E D C
that you'll never receive
from that one
scream
_________________
C D/F# G Bm
it's the only
way out of here
let me forget this love
_________________
and the clouds of turmoil
cover up my wretched soul
an ignorant spite
because of my love

***

something in the ways she looks at
me inhibits my hear, i feel like i've
deceived her, tricked her, i'm a bad
seed, and i'm no good to anyone.